Choose
by RobinxRaven writer
Summary: Everyday she continued on this path of isolation, it got harder for Raven to continue on. But sometimes moving forward and leaving something behind meant that if you walked long enough, you'd end up back at the beginning, only this time with a journey's experience with you. A year after leaving the Titans, Raven calls home.
1. Phone Call

A/N

So this is a sequel of sorts, maybe not the official sequel, but a sequel in some capacity to "A Farewell Without a Word" and "Hollow". This story will make more sense if you've read those two, but I do think that you can just read this without a problem. Happy Valentines Day!

~Choose~

Raven idly stared out over the horizon, watching as waves formed and surfers went out to meet them. The beach she was on was crowded, but under the shade of her umbrella she was left in relative peace. She didn't feel peaceful herself, instead she was feeling somewhat melancholic. It felt like ages since she'd last been at the beach on the other side of the country with her friends, and she almost didn't want to come here in the first place. Indulging herself like this, especially while thinking about her friends, was never going to make her feel better, it was going to have the exact opposite effect and she knew it. But Raven couldn't help herself either.

Not a day went by when she didn't think of everyone, wondered what they were doing and if they were happy. Usually among her first thoughts was if they'd moved on from her, and that thought was quickly dismissed every time it came up because she hadn't moved on from them and it was a safe bet that the opposite was true as well. It took a lot of effort not to look up what was going on back in Jump City now that she was gone, and each day that went by was harder than the last. She'd made up her mind and chosen this path, she knew that it would be difficult, but often times it was hard to resist the temptation not to look back.

One of the things she did constantly think about was if they were still looking for her. For the first few months that thought was based in fear, because of the truth she'd left behind and what would happen if she was forced to confront it. But after those first few months and a few states distance between them, that fear eroded and changed into something else, something she recognized all too well: Longing. She wanted to go back so badly to see her friends again and eat breakfast and fight crime and yes, she was even willing to put up with the paperwork and charity events that she famously loathed if it meant she could go back to her old life.

But it was too soon; if she went back now old wounds would open, wounds that hadn't even come close to healing because whenever she thought of that certain someone her heart would try to wrench itself out of her chest.

Raven sighed as she wondered what Robin was doing for the millionth time that week. She knew that it was probably the same as it had always been, minus her: Fighting crime and spending time with his friends. And his girlfriend. Her thoughts shifted to Starfire, and Raven wondered who was probably hurt more between the two because of her leaving: She'd been close to both of them, and in the end Starfire was the last person she thought about when she'd left. Sighing and closing her eyes, Raven tried to focus on the sound of the waves through the cacophony of noise from the rest of the crowded beach.

Not two minutes later, someone sat down to her right and said, "You look upset."

She looked up and frowned at the young man. He was probably around her age, maybe a couple of years older than she was. He had light brown hair that matched his eyes, was a little lean, and judging from the way his hair was messed up, he'd definitely been in the water recently. "Is there any particular reason you care?" She asked after a moment.

He shrugged. "No." Was all he said, smiling at her eye roll. "My name's Matt." He held out his hand.

"Rachel." She replied, reaching forward and shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you." He told her. "So… what's wrong, Rachel?"

She regarded him for a moment as she thought to herself, _"Should I even bother? Can I tell enough for him to understand without revealing everything?"_ Enough time passed for Matt to raise a brow. _"I guess I've got nothing to lose. And I haven't had a real conversation since I left the Titans."_ Clearing her throat and looking back out to the ocean, she said, "I miss my friends."

Matt nodded in understanding. "Where are they?"

"In California."

Another nod. "How come they're there and you're here? Did you move because of college or something?"

"No." Raven shook her head, debating internally what she should say next. "They're there because _there_ is their home, and I'm here because I needed to… think about things." She decided on.

"Think about what things? Did you wake up one day and suddenly realize that your friends aren't who you thought they were?" He asked, his tone light but serious.

"No, nothing like that. I-" Raven sighed. She didn't want to talk about this, but swallowed her anxiety and spoke anyway. "In that group of friends, there was this guy. I was in love with him." She said quietly, the first time she'd ever admitted it out loud. "But he wound up with someone else."

Matt waited a moment before he responded. "You must've been pretty deep in love if you had to go all the way across the country just to think about things."

His response made Raven snort. "You have no idea." He laughed, and she waited for him to quiet down before continuing, "I didn't think I would fall in love with him when I first met him. And in all honesty, I don't hand out my affections that easily, so you can imagine how hurt I was when I saw that he had decided to go with another girl."

"Does he know?" Matt asked, leaning back and placing his hands in the sand. "Did you ever tell him?"

"I…" Raven cringed slightly and her voice fell a little. "I wrote him a note." It sounded so dumb when she said it out loud.

Matt started laughing, and Raven picked up a handful of sand and threw it into his face. After sputtering and wiping it away, he cleared his throat and asked, "What did he say when he found out?"

Raven shrugged. "I left before I could find out what he would tell me."

"Well that's dumb!" Matt threw his hands into the air in exasperation. "You should go back and find out what he has to say!"

"It doesn't matter what he has to say. He's been with that other girl for two years now, so I doubt he'd suddenly turn heel and be with me." Raven replied.

"Who cares about that other girl?" Matt shook his head and looked out to the sea. "If you want my opinion, you should try and break them up so you can be with him instead."

"Well, the only problem with that is that the other girl is also a good friend of mine." Raven nodded at Matt when he looked back to her with a shocked expression. "Yeah, so you see my predicament. I want them both to be happy, and I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Hmm…" Matt rubbed his chin as he thought. It was almost two minutes before he responded, long enough for Raven turn back to the horizon. "Would he be happier with you?"

"What?" Raven's head snapped up, and her brow knit together.

"Would he be happier with you?" Matt repeated the question. "Because if he would be, I say you should try to win him over anyway. And this is a little pessimistic, but… Not all relationships work out. Things might not work out between your two friends. And if it doesn't… then you can be there for him."

"I'm not going to hover around him hoping his relationship fails so I can be his rebound girl." Raven said quickly. "And to answer your question: I don't know. Maybe he would be happier with me. If I'd known beforehand what was going to happen, I would've told him sooner. I know for sure that if I _had_ acted sooner, I would make him as happy as I possibly could. As happy as he made me."

"So what's stopping you?" Matt asked with a smile.

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Raven retorted with a frown.

"I did. And it sounds like you've got two choices: Be happy, or be sad. I think you should go for the first option. Maybe it's not the kindest thing in the world to ruin his girlfriends happiness, but sometimes there's nothing wrong with being selfish. And if you succeeded in you quest, maybe this girl would understand and you could be friends again someday."

Matt sounded so genuinely optimistic that for a second Raven was left in silence as she tried to think of a legitimate reason to counter his points. "I can be happy without him." She finally said once her voice came back to her.

"Didn't you say they'd been together for a couple of years now? Have you been sulking this entire time? Because if you have, I don't think you can be." Matt leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees.

"And who are you to tell me what I can and can't be?" Raven asked defensively.

Matt raised his hands in a gesture of peace. "No one. You can be whatever you want, but _I_ think that you want to be with him. Am I wrong?" She started to answer, but he cut her off. "Because if I am wrong, then wouldn't you be with him now as a friend, like you said you were before?" Matt sighed before continuing, "And even if you end up happy without him, it might not be the same kind of happiness that you had as before."

Raven didn't respond, mulling his words over in her head. It wouldn't be a bad thing, to have a different kind of happiness than before. But Raven knew he'd hit the nail right on the head: She did want to be with Robin, which was why she was here across the country sulking. And in all honesty, she didn't know when this 'sulking' would end. Maybe it never would. Maybe for the rest of her life, Robin would be her biggest what if, her 'what could have been' and no matter where she went or who she ended up with, Robin would always be there in the back of her mind. If that was the case, what was she supposed to do? Never see or speak to him again?

That didn't seem right. Or fair. But when had her life ever been fair?

Her life had always been a constant uphill struggle. First the struggle to control her powers as a child, then as a crime fighting heroine, then the attempt to resist the prophecy of her birth, then the struggle to overcome her sorrow after Robin and Starfire got together… But she'd come out on top everytime before now. If she went back to find out what Robin thought of her confession, what would she find? If she went back to try and convince him to pick her over Starfire, what would happen?

"It won't be that easy." She said quietly, finding a way to put out that spark of hope that had ignited in her. "I can't just walk back into his life and expect things to work out…"

"It probably won't be easy." Matt conceded. "But that doesn't mean it's impossible."

Raven narrowed her gaze. "You seem really intent on changing my mind."

"Yeah well…" He suddenly looked sheepish and looked away, down the beach. "I guess I know what you're going through." He raised his hand and pointed. "See that girl in the red two piece, with the brown hair in the ponytail?" When he turned back to see Raven nod, he continued. "That's my wife, Evelyn." He raised his hand to show the ring. "But we wouldn't be together if I hadn't fought for her. Literally, at one point." He smiled and shook his head. "So I know a thing or two about your situation. And I know that in the end it was worth it."

Raven heard someone calling Matt's name, and saw that his wife was walking over to them. "Hey, who's this?" She asked, choosing to stand rather than kneel down.

"This is Rachel, my…." He gestured to her, letting her complete that sentence.

"Acquaintance." She filled in.

Evelyn raised a brow. It looked like she was about to say something to Raven, but then she looked down at Matt. "Cheryl and I are hungry, so we're going to go get some food. You coming?"

"Yeah, sure." Matt stood up, brushing sand off his swimming trunks. He looked down at Raven, smiling widely. "Well, I hope things work out with you, Rachel. See you around."

He turned and left with Evelyn, and Raven could hear her asking what he was talking about.

Raven sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on them lightly. She sat there for a few minutes before standing up, making her way through the crowd and along the beach until she was back in her hotel room. She shivered thanks to the cold air conditioning and shut it off, pulling the blankets up and over herself as she pulled her phone off the nightstand.

The only thing she'd put on the phone were some songs from artists she liked, but other than that there was nothing on it. No photos had been taken or saved, and she'd left the wallpaper on as the default background that it had come out of the box with. There weren't any contacts saved, but there were a few recent calls in the list, all to places she could order food from while she'd been travelling.

Typing the number she'd memorized a long time ago into the dialpad, Raven's thumb hovered over the call button before she pressed it. She took in a shaky breath and held it as she swallowed hard and raised the phone to her ear. Every ring that passed raised her level of apprehension, made it harder to resist the temptation to hang up and teleport the phone into the sun so they couldn't trace the call back to her.

"Who is this and how did you get this number?"

She expected that response, at least, calling his private cell phone that only three people in the world including herself knew the number too. Exhaling slowly and closing her eyes, she wished she'd thought of something to say because all that came out was a simple, "Hi."

He inhaled sharply, loud enough for it to come out over the phone. "Hi." He said back quickly.

An awkward silence settled between them, and Raven started to panic. "So what's up?" She asked, breaking the silence and now _really_ wishing she'd spent some time to think of something to say.

"Uh… Nothing, really. I'm just… sitting down." He answered. "What's up with you?"

"I'm sitting down, too." She said, resisting the urge to laugh, but when Robin laughed quietly she joined in too.

Another silence settled between them. "How come you're calling?" He asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no. I… missed you." She admitted. "And I wanted to talk to you. But now that I'm actually doing so, I don't know what to talk about."

Robin laughed again, quiet like before. "I know what you mean. That was always on my mind when we were searching for you. And we still haven't stopped looking for you." He paused for a moment, but his next words came out lighter than before. "I don't suppose you'd make it easy on us and tell us where you went?"

"Mmm… Maybe." She pursed her lips together, smiling a bit. "How are Cyborg and Beastboy?"

"They're doing alright. They miss you too. If you wanna talk to them, they're in the other room. I can take you to them." Robin said.

Raven took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Maybe in a bit." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "How's Star?" She asked, since she knew there was no point in putting the question off for very long.

It was several moments before Robin answered, but his response wasn't what she expected. "She went back to Tamaran."

Raven's eyes widened in shock. "What!? When, why?"

"About seven months ago." Robin sighed. "Things were getting difficult between us for a while before you left, and then after you left, I was preoccupied with looking for you, so it was... kind of the last straw between us."

"I'm sorry, Robin." She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "I didn't know, I didn't think that you two would-"

"It's okay. And it was a mutual decision between us, anyway. We talked about it for a while, and we both agreed it was for the best." He said, his voice heavy. Neither of them said anything for a while, but Robin ended up being the one to break the silence. "I got your note, Rae."

Raven tensed, pulling the blankets around her closer. "...And?"

"I promised myself that I'd tell you what I thought of it when I saw you again." He told her quietly, voice barely above a whisper. "So if you want to know what I think…"

"Do you really have to do that to me?" Raven asked with a groan.

Robin laughed, and she could hear his grin through the phone. But whatever he was going to say next was cut off when alarms started blaring from the other end. "Damn it. Raven, I've got to go-"

"I understand. I'll call you tomorrow. I promise."

"Alright. Take care of yourself."

"You-" The call was disconnected before she could finish, "-too." Looking down at her phone, she sighed and closed her eyes. She'd really done it. She'd actually spoken to him. In hindsight, it had been an impulsive decision on her part to promise to call him tomorrow, but right now she wasn't regretting the choice. But she was regretting not calling him sooner; in spite of everything, she wished she'd known that Starfire had left Earth so long ago. If she'd known, she would have done her best to put her personal feelings aside and be there for him.

But she was glad to know that he had the boys to fall back on in her absence. They hadn't let _her_ down in the past, so she doubted that they'd let him down. And she assumed they hadn't since they were all still on a team together after she and Starfire had left.

For a while Raven just sat there, repeating the conversation in her head over and over again and wondering what she should do next. Ultimately, she decided to think up a topic of conversation for tomorrow, as well as what she'd tell Cyborg and Beastboy when she spoke with them. It was better than having another conversation with awkward pauses after every sentence.

After that, she wondered where she would go. She'd only have the hotel room for one more night, so she'd have to pack up and move on. But as to where, she didn't know. Now that she hit the east coast, there were only a few places that stuck out in her mind. None of them seemed particularly enticing, however. She could make her way back west, maybe visit places she'd skipped along the way.

The thought of Titans Tower had been on her mind long before her call with Robin, and after talking with him the urge to return was overwhelming her. It would be so easy to teleport across the country, using the emotion she was currently feeling to power herself and just... _poof_. She could be right back with her friends, helping them win whatever battle they were currently fighting.

Her thoughts were pulled back to what Robin had told her before their conversation had ended. _"So if you want to know what I think…"_ A part of her wanted to think he was just playing hard to get, and another part of her wanted to take it as an open invitation to go back, and yet another part of her had no idea what to think.

Standing up, and grabbing some fresh clothes to wear, she decided that after calling them tomorrow, Raven would make up her mind as to whether or not she went to see them.

And depending on what Robin told her would determine whether she would stay.


	2. Getting Back in Touch

A/N

So I didn't plan on continuing this, the idea being to leave the story open ended kind of like "Hollow" was and let people draw their own conclusions (the same way I didn't plan on continuing the story after "Hollow" finished). But then I came up with five more scenes so easily, like the easiest it had ever been for me to come up with a scene, so I guess there will be at least five more chapters, and a possible sixth. I should also mention that these will not end up being particularly long.

~Choose~

Nightwing heard his phone ringing from the common room. It shocked him just as much as it shocked Beastboy and Cyborg. "I didn't know we had a landline." Beastboy had said, scratching the back of his head. He turned to Cyborg who shrugged at him, and they both turned to Nightwing.

"That's because we don't." Nightwing said. "Wait here." He hurried to his room, not offering an explanation to the other two, opening the false bottom of one of his desk drawers and pulling out the phone he'd always kept charged, just in case… just in case something happened and Bruce or Alfred needed to call him. The only contact in the phone was a simple "B", but that wasn't who was calling. It was an unknown caller, a ten digit number he didn't recognize at the top of the screen. "Who is this and how did you get this number?" He asked sharply.

For a second, there was no response. And then a quiet, "Hi."

He'd know that voice anywhere. Nightwing gasped, inhaling sharply and taking a step back as though he'd been punched. "Hi." He said back. Speaking to Raven- _actually_ speaking to her, even if it had only been a greeting, took away his ability to stand and he fell backwards onto his bed.

Before his mind could begin to recover from the fact that she was the one calling him, could register that she'd remembered this phone number from being inside his mind and that she'd once told him that she thought he should change it so there was no chance of her spilling it accidentally - and that he wouldn't do it because he trusted her - she spoke again. "So what's up?"

Looking around, he blinked and his mind raced to find something interesting to say because he was so, so afraid of losing her interest and her hanging up. But today had been a morning like any other; breakfast, combat training, and relaxing ever since. "Uh…" He winced, chiding himself, "Nothing, really. I'm just… sitting down." He answered honestly. "What's up with you?" A part of him immediately regretted asking, out of the unfounded fear that she wouldn't want to talk about herself.

"I'm sitting down, too."

He started laughing quietly, because it had been such a Raven answer. She laughed too, undoubtedly because she recognized that they were trying to make small talk when neither one of them had been very good at it in the first place. And that realization made him straighten up and swallow hard. "How come you're calling? Is something wrong?" Ever since she'd left, all of them had worried about how she would get along, and if she was calling after a year of silence then that meant something was wrong.

"No, no. I… missed you." Nightwing's eyes widened. "And I wanted to talk to you. But now that I'm actually doing so, I don't know what to talk about."

Nodding to himself, he laughed again. "I know what you mean. That was always on my mind when we were searching for you. And we still haven't stopped looking for you." He paused licking his lips. "I don't suppose you'd make it easy on us and tell us where you went?" He asked a little teasingly, because he knew that trying to question her directly would make her leave again. If she wanted them to know where she was, she would've said or done something by now.

"Mmm… Maybe." He grinned, he couldn't help it. "How are Cyborg and Beastboy?" She asked.

"They're doing alright. They miss you too. If you wanna talk to them, they're in the other room. I can take you to them." Nightwing told her. _"Actually, they're probably right outside the door."_ He thought to himself, and stood up to open his door, nodding in satisfaction when he didn't see them there.

"Maybe in a bit." She said, pausing before she asked, "How's Star?"

If Nightwing hadn't been so emotionally drained by this point, he might've sighed or gotten upset. As it was, he took a few moments to debate telling the truth before deciding there was no point in lying to Raven about one of her friends and said, "She went back to Tamaran."

"What!? When, why?" She asked, not like he expected her to just accept it and move on.

"About seven months ago." He said with a sigh as those memories were brought back to the surface. "Things were getting difficult between us for a while before you left, and then after you left, I was preoccupied with looking for you, so it was…" He trailed off, not wanting to talk about his romance problems any more than necessary. "... kind of the last straw between us." Was all he said, hoping Raven wouldn't pry further and then thinking it was foolish that she would.

"I'm sorry, Robin." His brow quirked as she used his old codename, and it dawned on him that she must've put a lot of effort into staying away from her old life if she didn't know that he'd adopted a new persona. "I didn't know, I didn't think that you two would-"

"It's okay." He cut her off, mentally smacking himself for making it sound like it was Raven's fault that he and Starfire had broken up. "And it was mutual decision between us, anyway. We talked about it for a while, and we both agreed it was for the best." Silence fell over them, and he closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself. "I got your note, Rae." They could talk about anything and everything for hours and hours, until they were hoarse and blue in the face, but none of that really mattered to him. But it had occurred to him in those few moments of silence that he had the chance to see her one last time, to tell her the truth.

"... And?"

"I promised myself that I'd tell you what I thought of it when I saw you again. So if you want to know what I think…" He trailed off, hoping she would take him up on his offer.

"Do you really have to do that to me?" She asked him, groaning.

Nightwing laughed; he could see the look on her face. He was about to speak again when the alarms started blaring and startling him into standing up. "Damn it. Raven, I've got to go-"

"I understand. I'll call you tomorrow. I promise."

That was all he needed to hear. "Alright. Take care of yourself." He hung up quickly, because he was still in shock and disbelief that he'd actually spoken to her. A year. An entire year of waking up without her, of spending every available second he had searching for her obsessively, till it got to the point where his friends and now ex girlfriend had to sit him down and tell him that she wasn't coming back, a year of blaming himself for losing her. Longer than a year, he knew. Ever since he'd started dating Starfire. He'd been as oblivious to hurting her as he was to her feelings for him, and once it had all become clear he'd never stopped-

"Yo Nightwing, get your butt in gear man!"

Beastboy's shouting drew Nightwing from his thoughts, and he was brought back to reality and realized that there were people in danger and he needed to act. "I'm coming!"

~Choose~

Hours later, after stopping the villain and the customary celebratory meal, Nightwing paced the length of the common room. He would've paced in his room, but Cyborg and Beastboy had both noted that Nightwing had been distracted, obviously because of the phone call he'd received shortly after noon, and they would've just stood outside his door and bothered him about it until he lamented and told them what had happened.

Kind of like what they were doing now.

"If Batman's in trouble, you can go to Gotham and help him. Seriously, we can get some of the honorary Titans to help out like we usually do!" Cyborg said.

Nightwing shook his head. "It's not Batman."

"Then what is it?" Beastboy asked. "I know you like to play things close to the vest, but this is-"

He stopped when Nightwing snapped his fingers and grinned. "Tomorrow."

Beastboy and Cyborg both looked at each other, sharing a confused glance. "What?" Cyborg asked.

"You'll find out tomorrow." He answered.

Raven did promise to call, after all.


	3. Day 366

Just as Raven was leaving her hotel to check out, she spotted Matt loading suitcases into his car. "Hey!" She called out to him, jogging over.

"Rachel, how goes it?" He asked casually, turning to her and crossing his arms.

"Good." She answered succinctly. "Listen, I never got the chance to thank you for yesterday. It really helped provide some… clarity." She said with a wave of her hand. "So, thank you." There was more she could've said, but just like yesterday there was no point in bringing up unnecessary details. She was thankful, and so thanks were in order. As far as was concerned, that's all she needed to tell him.

"No worries. Easing troubled minds is one of my many services. That'll be one hundred and two dollars and seventy three cents for your psychiatry bill." He said, extending his hand with his palm up.

Raven frowned. "You approached _me_. I'm not paying you jack."

He laughed, and she smiled a small smile despite herself. "You got me there. I gotta stop helping people out of the goodness of my heart, it'll drive me bankrupt!"

"Hm." She nodded once, turning on her heel to head towards the lobby. "Thanks again, seriously. Drive safely."

Matt gave her a wave, and she left before anything else could be said.

~Choose~

A few hours of flying later, Raven descended to the ground away from prying eyes as a medium sized town passed by underneath her. She'd spotted a park on her way to the ground, and after making her way to it and finding a bench that was out of the way, she pulled out her phone.

There was an instinctual moment of indecision and doubt before she called Robin, but she quickly willed it away and held the phone up to her ear. It rang all of two times before he answered, and there was no doubt in her mind that after she'd called yesterday he'd kept the phone in arms reach since. "Hi." Was all he said, sounding a lot more upbeat than yesterday.

"Hey, you. How'd the fight go yesterday?" She asked, because it had been on her mind after their call the day prior had been interrupted.

"It was only Cinderblock. Nothing we couldn't handle." Robin answered.

Raven shook her head. "That's the oldest dog out there. I'm not surprised he hasn't learned any new tricks." She brought one leg up to rest on the other.

"Yeah, but all his old tricks don't hurt any less than they used to." He said with a laugh.

Raven went quiet because it dawned on her that there was no one else who could help heal their injuries. It was one of the effects of her leaving that she hadn't stopped to consider until an image of Robin came to her mind unbidden, sitting in bed with bruised ribs that he could do nothing about until they healed on their own because she was gone. "Is anyone hurt?" She asked tentatively.

"We're all alright. Just a few scratches and bruises. Like I said: Nothing we couldn't handle."

His tone of voice was so casual and honest, the way it had been a thousand times before, that all tension dropped out of her. "Well, that's good. How's your day been so far?"

"It's been good." He chuckled a little. "When Beastboy ran the obstacle course this morning, Cyborg brought down a couple of paintball guns. It made for an… interesting change of pace."

"I take it Beastboy didn't do very well on the course." Raven smiled.

"Nope!" Robin laughed. "He got so scared since he had no idea, he took cover behind a rock for a good thirty seconds, but then forgot about the turrets that would lock onto him if he stood still-" He paused while Raven laughed, "-And then Cyborg clipped both his wings when he tried to fly away… He got a new personal worst. Oh man, he was livid!" He started laughing too.

"That's something I would've like to have seen." Raven admitted once her laughter had died down.

Before she could really think of the ways that Robin might take that, he said, "Next time something like that happens, I'll film it and send you the video." He assured her.

"Where are Cyborg and Beastboy, anyway? Where are you?" She asked, diverting the conversation.

If Robin noticed, he didn't seem to mind. "I'm at my desk in my room, and those two are in the common room, I think. But they may be in the game room downstairs." He answered.

"I'd like to speak to them, if you don't mind." She asked of him.

"Sure thing."

A silence settled over them as she listened to Robin leave his room and hurry to the common room first.

"Dude, we were in the middle of a match!"

Raven shook her head as she heard Beastboy over the phone.

"Trust me, this'll top it." There was a pause and then, "Alright, you're on speaker with Cyborg and Beastboy."

"Hello boys." Raven said, intentionally moving the phone away from her ear.

"AH!" Beastboy screamed, and Cyborg gasped. "RAVEN!" They shouted at the same time, and Raven had a hard time not laughing.

After listening to what sounded like the two trying to talk but only being able to make sounds like a fish gasping for air, she said, "This is riveting, really. I'm so glad I called."

"You should've called sooner!" Cyborg immediately retorted, and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "I haven't had anyone to help me out with the T-Car since you left, I've-I've-I've-" He started breaking down, and she heard Robin protest as Cyborg assumedly grabbed the phone. "Where have you been!?"

"Around." She said, her stomach knotting up.

"Oh Raven, are you okay? You're not hungry are you? Have you been sleeping in safe places? Do you need money? I've still got that Cy-BQ sauce deal going, I've got plenty of money to send you so you can get by! You just tell me where the drop off location is little sister, and I've got you covered! I'm talking steak, ribs, pulled pork sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburgers, whatever you need!"

"I appreciate it Cyborg, but I'm getting by okay." She told him once he'd stopped speaking at a million words a minute.

"How _have _you been getting by?" Beastboy asked.

Taking a moment to consider the consequences of telling the truth, she shrugged and said, "I've been scamming credit card companies." She wasn't a crime fighting heroine bound by duty and honor, and since money made the world go round, she figured that as long as she wasn't directly hurting people by lying on paperwork that there was nothing wrong with what she was doing.

"I told you so." Robin said. Somehow, it didn't surprise her that Robin had guessed it. "But I'm not gonna lecture you, Raven. I'd rather you get by okay than be homeless on the streets." He quickly added.

Before she could say anything in response, Beastboy asked, "Are you gonna come visit us?" The other end of the phone went deathly silent, and she could imagine that Beastboy had received a look from Robin and Cyborg because he added, "I-I mean, you know, nothing wrong with seeing old friends, right? You don't have to stay or nothing, you can just-"

"I don't know, Beastboy. Maybe." She cut him off, partially because his voice had been rising in pitch and she could _see_ Robin and Cyborg getting ready to beat him for asking, and partially because she just didn't want to hear him speaking at that high of an octave for any length of time. Humorously, she noted, she didn't want to hear him speak at any length of time in general.

She didn't say anything else, and Cyborg was the first one to speak in the silence. "Well, if Miss Maybe decides to show up, let us know in advance so we can stock the fridge."

Her lips tugged upwards slightly. "I'll be sure to do that." Her stomach growled, and she sighed. "I've gotta let you three go. I'll call again sometime soon."

"Please do!" Cyborg pleaded.

"We'll be right here." Beastboy said.

"See you next time." Robin said.

"Bye guys." She hung up, sighing. "I didn't talk about nearly as much as I wanted to." She lamented. _"I wanted to asked Cy about his car and Beastboy about his games, and any changes to the Tower and if anyone's been filling in since Starfire and I have left."_ She winced as the thought of what had happened when she'd been gone came back to mind after she'd spent a good amount of time yesterday trying not to think about the fact that Matt had been right and Robin had invited her back to tell her what he thought about her letter to him.

Exhaling slowly as she stood, Raven thought once more of going back to the Tower. She could talk to them on the phone for hours and hours, but as she thought about it and the conversation she'd just had, speaking to her friends over the phone hadn't helped alleviate any feelings of longing, it'd only enhanced them.

If she flew for about five hours straight, she could be home. She wouldn't have to stay very long. Just two or three days at the most. Long enough to catch up if she devoted a single day to each person there. But what would happen when she spoke to Robin, when the two of them were inevitably alone at some point? She cursed him for being such a tease yesterday; he wanted her to come back too, even if he was just as nervous about as she was.

Maybe it was that realization, the fact that he wanted to see her too helped steel her resolved and come to a final decision.


	4. Face to Face

A/N

So I had written a chapter where you see Robin's reactions to some of the events of 'Hollow' and the scene where he and Starfire break up. I wrote it because I felt like it helped pace the story better but ultimately I don't like it. I let you know this because if there is enough interest, I still have the chapter and I can post it, but if it doesn't matter to y'all then it will never see the light of day.

~Choose~

"You're not gonna call her!" Nightwing grunted as he kept Beastboy away with one hand, his phone in his other hand.

"She hasn't called in two days!" Beastboy said.

"She'll call us when she wants to!" Nightwing said, shoving him away and stepping back, putting about seven feet between the two of them. "That's just the way it is."

"Oh I'll tell you how it is, Nightwing." Turning around at the sound of Cyborg's voice, Nightwing dropped into a fighting stance when he saw that his right arm was in its sonic cannon state. "Right now, you're set in a pincer attack between me and Beastboy." He raised his left hand. "So just hand the phone over, and you won't have to get hurt."

A loaded silence filled the room as Nightwing gauged his options. He could throw a smoke bomb down and try to get past Beastboy, but it was a narrow hallway; Cyborg could also see in infrared and thus wouldn't be affected by the smoke, allowing him to shoot at Nightwing with ease. Realizing that his only way out of this was to trick the others, taking advantage of the moment when they thought he would hand the phone over to get past them. He nodded slowly, and was about to step towards Cyborg when the phone started ringing in his hand.

Cyborg and Beastboy ran up to him. "Hi Raven. You're on speaker with me and the others." He told her.

"Good, I was gonna ask you to get the others first thing." She cleared her throat. "So, I've decided to let you guys come and see me." Everyone looked at each other and nearly jumped for joy. "But, you have to guess where I am, and I'm only giving you three chances."

"Metropolis! No, Gotham! No, Steel City! No, Azarath! No wait, you're in Central aren't you!?" Beastboy cried out before Nightwing could even begin to think.

"That was five guesses, and none of them were right. Guess I'll hang up now…"

"Wait!" Nightwing near shouted, only holding back because of how close the others were to him.

Raven didn't say anything, presumably because she thought that he was going to give it a shot as well. When he didn't say anything (because how could he, the last thing he'd expected was for Raven to offer _them_ the chance to see her), she chuckled. "Alright, I'll give you a hint: You can see me from the roof."

In their haste to get the roof, Beastboy went towards the elevator and Cyborg went to the stairs, but because they were on either side of Nightwing, they ended up sandwiching him and they all three fell unceremoniously to the ground. Dazed, Nightwing stumbled to his feet as Cyborg and Beastboy pulled on both his arms as they rushed towards the stairs.

Anxiety and hope and fear and joy and every possible mix of positive and negative emotions rolled through him as he made his way up the stairs, but as he stepped out onto the roof and raised one hand to cover his eyes, all of it vanished as he saw her, floating a couple of feet off the ground, jeans tucked into knee-high lapeled black boots, a dark blue collared jacket over a tucked in white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

Her feet hit the ground with a crunch as the rooftop gravel twisted beneath her, and it was all the confirmation they needed to let them know that she was _really _here.

Cyborg and Beastboy sprinted forward, wrapping her in a hug. She smiled and wrapped an arm around both of them as best she could, responding with, "I missed you guys too, but my ribs can only take so much!" as they squeezed the life out of her in an understandably joyful hug.

Realizing that it was a little too late to join in, Nightwing stayed back, watching in awe as the sunlight bounced off her purple hair, noticing how the white of her shirt helped accentuate her ashen skin, the way she smiled as Cyborg rambled about how good it was to finally have her back.

Once she'd finally freed herself from the other two, she looked towards him and smiled, taking the air from his lungs. She walked over to him, and he couldn't stop himself from approaching her until they were a few feet from each other. "You got tall."

Laughing as he realized that her forehead was only up to his chin, he took another step forward and when Raven held her arms out to her sides, he closed the rest of the distance and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground. "It's nice to see you again." He told her honestly.

Raven had lifted her hands to his shoulders to brace herself when her feet left the ground, and she smiled back at him. "You too."

He lowered her back to the ground, and before he could come up with anything to say Cyborg cut in with, "I thought I told you to call us ahead of time so we could stock the fridge!"

"I wanted to surprise you." Raven said with a grin.

"Since when have you liked surprises?" Beastboy asked incredulously.

"I do not like _being _surprised." Raven replied as she turned to face him. "There is a difference when I do it."

"Then let's start planning so no one gets surprised at all." Cyborg clasped his hands together and started rubbing his palms. "First things first: How long are you gonna stay?"

A slight unease fell over Nightwing, but it went unnoticed by the others. "Three days. Maybe four." She answered casually.

"Okay then, I'm gonna go plan four days worth of activities and events! Come on green bean, you're helping!" Cyborg picked up Beastboy and led him down into the Tower.

Shaking his head, Nightwing turned to Raven and smiled once again, happy that she was just standing here next to him.

"You didn't tell me that you'd gotten rid of the old uniform." She said to fill the silence.

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, I know I should've… It just never crossed my mind." That wasn't entirely true; when she'd called the second time, he did think about telling her, but a part of him decided it wasn't necessary since he had no idea if he would ever see her again. "You look good." He admitted as he looked her over once more. It had been extremely rare to see her out of her uniform back when she was on the team, but he couldn't stop himself from admiring just how calm and relaxed she looked.

She beamed up at him, nearly taking away his ability to stand once more, and he wondered if her smile had always had that effect on him. "Come on. I wanna go make sure the other two aren't planning anything that'll scare me away for good."

He laughed, and together they descended into the Tower.


	5. And Then There Were Three

~Seven Months Ago~

"We need to talk."

Starfire's shoulder's fell, and it took everything he had in him to keep his gaze on her and not look away. "You wish to talk about _us_, yes?" She asked quietly, hands clutching her knees tightly as she kept her gaze on the ground.

He sighed, walking over and sitting beside her on his bed. He stayed quiet as he tried to come up with a way to help soften the blow. "I tried to make this work Starfire, I really did." He said truthfully, quietly, as memories of their relationship came to his mind. Or more accurately, the beginning of their relationship; the Tamaranean bonding rituals and the dates and the freedom to just be with her, to hold her and kiss her without any lingering doubt or hesitation between them any more. "But I've realized…" He paused, trying to figure out how to correctly word what he was feeling.

"That there is something missing." Starfire filled in. He nodded, leaning forward and resting his face on his hands while he gazed at the ground. "That there is more to love than just friendship and attraction." She continued, gaze turning to the ceiling. "Something that cannot be described."

Robin nodded once again. "I think that sometimes its easy to confuse a deep friendship for love." He said into the silence. "But when you recognize the difference, that love is so much more than friendship…" He trailed off again.

After his relationship with Starfire had been made official and the honeymoon wore off, it didn't take long for him to notice that Raven had been more withdrawn than she'd ever been before; almost never leaving her room, missing meals and barely eating when she did show up, flat out refusing to socialize even when they begged her… When she wouldn't talk to them, he tried to feel out what was ailing her through the empathetic bond they'd shared, but found Raven closed off from him. He wasn't a natural empath, he had no natural magic abilities to speak of so it had always been difficult for him to tap into it, to her thoughts and feelings, but he _had _been able to before. And then when he couldn't, for the first time since before defeating her father, he was scared for her, because he had no idea how to help her.

The day that Raven had punched him, when she had turned on him so angrily and claimed he didn't care about her, something inside of him had twisted so painfully at her words. Of course he'd been angry in the moment, getting attacked for trying to help, but… He cared, _of course _he cared; Raven was his best friend, she was even closer to him than Starfire was in a lot of ways. If he really didn't care about her, about how angry and distant and quiet she'd been back then, he wouldn't have followed after her to check on her when she'd stormed away from them. And then there had been the way she acted afterwards… eyes so empty and vacant and lacking the light he always saw in them, like she'd put herself on autopilot and wasn't really there, _that_ had been when things had started to change between him and Starfire. No matter what he was doing with the others, how his dates with Starfire were going, he was always distracted because he was worried about her.

And then one night when he couldn't sleep because he wanted to see her, while he paced around his room while Starfire continued snoring as his resolve had broken down and he went to sit with her, to talk with Raven like he had before… and then she'd started crying, startling him as that twisting feeling returned even stronger than before and he reached out to her so automatically to help her, to try and make her feel better.

That was when things started breaking down between him and Starfire.

Dates had stopped being looked forward to or planned outright, everytime Starfire took his hand or kissed him in an attempt to cheer him up it failed, because there was no way he could sit there and forget about Raven while she suffered. Which made it worse when Starfire asked why he wasn't acting like her lover anymore, why he only put effort into their relationship when the others were around but not when it was just the two of them… because he couldn't tell her something he wasn't even aware of himself yet; that his happiness was dependent on Raven's happiness, that he loved her and didn't love Starfire.

And then Raven had started acting like her usual self, socializing a little more and spending time with everyone like she used to. It had put his mind at ease seeing her not so troubled, and so in an attempt to salvage things with Starfire, he'd planned to tell her about his past because it was something she'd always wanted to know about but he could never tell her. Starfire had always been one for grand gestures over small ones, and he knew that it would mean a lot to her if he told her something about him no one else knew about.

Almost no one.

It wasn't until Raven disappeared and left a confession behind that he realized how stupid he'd been.

"What made you realize this? That you did not love me the way you thought?" Starfire asked, breaking the silence and pulling him from his thoughts.

Robin took a deep breath and exhaled, wondering what he should say. Starfire did not deserve to be lied to; even if he didn't love her, it wouldn't be right to treat her that way and he knew it. "Raven leaving made me realize." He admitted quietly. "It made me realize that… that-" He sighed, because he knew this was going to hurt to say and to hear, "That while I want you to be happy, I don't need you to be happy." At her confused look, he cleared his throat and continued. "I mean that _I_ do not need you to be happy. I don't need you in that way." He stood up and walked to the wall so he could lean against it before continuing. "But with Raven, I do. I want to be there for her to make her happy because…"

"Because you love her." Starfire finished when he hesitated. She closed her eyes, trying not to think about the fact that the simple way he'd spoken about Raven had been completely different to any way he'd ever talked about her or to her. "Even though she is gone and is not coming back."

"She may not come back…" Robin said, "...But I'll catch up to her one day. And when I do, I'm going to tell her the truth." He finished quietly. "Which is why I'm breaking up with you." He let his head hang for a second before he looked up into her eyes. "I don't want to pretend, or lead you or anyone else on, anymore. I'm not in love with you."

For a long while, Starfire simply stared at him with a carefully neutral gaze before she slowly looked away. "I think this is for the best." She said quietly. "If you do not love me, it would not be right of me to keep you in a relationship. You should be allowed to follow your own heart, not be held down by mine."

Robin frowned lightly. "I'm sorry things had to be this way, Star."

She shook her head and stood up. "Do not be. I have many happy memories of us, and I will always have those memories." She reached forward and squeezed his hand lightly. "Even though we did not work as lovers, we will always be friends." She smiled brightly when Robin nodded his confirmation, then let go of his hand. Her gaze flicked to the ground for a second before meeting his again. "Which is why I will return. I am going to go back to Tamaran to heal." She held up a hand to stop him from saying anything when he opened his mouth. "I promise to return someday. I would not want to go the rest of my life without seeing you ever again, or Cyborg or Beastboy or Titans East or Raven if you find her. And I hope you do."

Easing up a little at her promise, Robin nodded. "Are you going to leave right now?"

"I will pack first, then I think we should tell Cyborg and Beastboy that we are no longer together. It will make my leaving easier for them to understand, I believe." She said. "Then I will go."

He nodded slowly. "I'll help you pack."

It didn't take very long to gather everything from her room and his and move it downstairs so Starfire could use one fifth of the T-Ship to fly back home. But the day wasn't over and that meant that Cyborg and Beastboy noticed what was going on, exchanging confused looks with one another as Robin and Starfire stayed silent, until finally Cyborg cleared his throat and asked, "Um… are y'all taking a trip somewhere or something?"

Robin let Starfire step forward and explain the decision that had been made earlier and promise them that she would return, keeping his gaze on the horizon as Starfire hugged the other two, then let his features relax as she gave him one final hug.

Then she left.

For a long time, the three remaining Titans stood shoulder to shoulder and just watched the sky turn orange as the sun set. Then Robin turned to face the other two, bracing himself for what they would say. Both of their expressions were unreadable, and then Cyborg turned and left quietly. The sound of waves crashing against the island was all that was heard until Beastboy cleared his throat and looked to the ground. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and turned to leave as well.

Robin sighed wearily, pulling his mask off. He reached into one of the pockets on his utility belt and gently unfolded the note Raven had left him and read it again the way he'd often done when he was alone and she was on his mind. His hands trembled as he blinked away the tears that formed, and he wondered for the millionth time since all this had started why he hadn't seen what had been right in front of him for so long.

~Choose~

A/N

There was more support for this than I thought there would be, so I went back and polished it (aka completely rewrote it because that second draft was _bad_). There will be at least five more chapters for this story, so stay tuned!


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